“So how is this going to work? I’ve never really heard of someone trying this.”
My cousin’s a lawyer and just kept smiling at me the whole time. She had been reading the night before about the process, or at least what she could understand since she spends the majority of her days reading tax forms. So law school was some time ago and required a refresher.
“Lary, there is no legal mechanism for what you guys are trying to do. Just let things happen. This is a good thing and we’re just going to follow someone else’s lead.”
That last part is hard for me. Just play Follow the Leader? Yeah Right!
As my mother walks into the room she is all smiles. Behind her Kathy and Susie are walking hand in hand which is nice to see. Teenagers are odd creatures at times, but today is about family so it makes sense. My dad couldn’t be here, but the miracle of technology will allow him to be a head on a screen from a distance.
As the judge walks into his chambers, we all stand.
“Sit back down, this is fun today. I’ve never done this and we are talking about almost 50 years of legal experience. If you don’t mind, one of my fellow judges wants to just watch.”
Okay, we’re all good with that. There’s nothing to hide, we’re just trying to find a way for one family to adopt a 43 year old man while his parents sit there and smile! Yep, that’s what brought us here, one family trying to find a way to create an absolute bond that no one could ever question. The fun is, I’m not giving up my name or anything else about my family. Jut joining a new one in a legal sense that isn’t typical. The law is looking at this as just some fun, even if this were to go to court there is nothing binding about this. So why bring my lawyer cousin? She thought this would be fun to see.
After a whole lot of silly statements about my willingness to join this family, my mother (the biological one) stands up and says she feels like there is no better family for me to be a part of. That she knew they would take care of me as well as she has for the past 4 decades. There are a few tears coming down her cheeks, but she and Kathy are the ones who came to me with the idea.
Ask me some questions, listen to my canned replies since we really aren’t signing away my parents rights to claim me, nor is Kathy asking to have me change my name, and we finish our time in chambers. Even the judge is a little choked up since he has know my father since they were kids. That’s how we pulled this off, just a favor for a friend. Nothing recorded for all time except what we snap pictures of, nothing filled in a courthouse for all time.
And with that I now have two families. I always did, but we thought this would be a nice spin on making it something different. So the little teenage girl who I have called my niece is now for all purposes, my niece in the eyes of everyone. Uncle Lary now means something different than when we were talking at breakfast. My mother and Kathy have been close for years, so there is nothing but love between the two of them. Two strong women who were only children, finding a form of sisterhood.
I know this is the strange adult version of playing dress-up and watching two small children pretend to get married. It was a play for a small audience, but the actors were my family. Both sides.
They are trying to show me that I have family who will always be there to take care of me. We all acknowledge that things are going to get progressively more difficult and Kathy/Susie (Susie’s dad has always been like a little brother but he was travelling for work) know that the last year of dealing with the Ex has left me feeling as if people are just going to pick up and leave the instant something takes a left turn. They wanted me to know they aren’t going to do that.
You can’t ever repay that. You can only do everything possible to let them know you love them and appreciate them.
It’s been a week since this all went down and I still can’t quite get a grip on my emotions surrounding this. I’m upset about the past that I had, one someone walked away from without explanation. I’m worried that as the cancer gets a stronger hold, I may not be able to trust these people. Even though they have given me every reason in the world to do just the opposite. Fear is something I don’t like, it hurt the last time around so much it turned to anger. This time I just want to let someone know that the fear won’t do that, it can’t do that.
Maybe I need to go make some muffins?
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “______ is the new ______.”