Let’s be simplistic in my approach. Voices are like a chorus, some loud and confident while others are soft making them barely distinguishable from the rest. Plenty fall somewhere in-between. There needs to be a mix of all these voices complimenting one another. Every person bringing a slightly different sound and quality, one that might not sound quite the same if any one of those voices were offering a solo.
At times I hear a wide variety of voices still ringing in my ears. Some are in the room and wanting me to hear them, others are just faint memories that grow a little quieter with each passing day. All of them are important in various ways. Even the ones that hurt have a place.
The chorus in my mind sometimes sings songs that bring me closer to positive memories. The sound a baseball makes when it hits my catchers mitt as it passes by a batter brings me a smile every time. Laughter coming from some other part of the house bringing me into the present when the past in sometimes weighing me down. The sound of a child crying because I hope that just holding her will be enough.
The opposite side of that coin has to be those voices that still stop me in my tracks. Hearing someone blame you for something you couldn’t control under any circumstance, that still rings clear. The sound of a voice echoing in my phone telling me my world changed and that my daughter wouldn’t be coming home. And that same crying from a child that never was heard because that phone call came after I had my chance to say goodbye.
I love the sound of music. Having a deep voice always had me playing the part of booming voice. Rarely do they get the lead, but pull that range out and the chorus is diminished.
Once in a while, when I have been forced to spend the night at the hospital, you hear a voice call out and then fall silent. Some of those times mean other voices from the same place get very loud. Other times those voices can barely mumble. Human frailty meeting and diverging into different places.
By this time next year my voice will have joined that silent chorus. Nature of life, sometimes things can’t be fixed. I however am looking forward to knowing the answer to one question.
Am I going to get a chance to sit next to a voice I know will be perfect with every note. Even if she is completely off-key!
That voice gives me hope.