Unbroken Spine

Second Time Around

It’s not a book I can go back to.  To be clear, I’ve never been able to crack open the cover without needing to put it back on a shelf.  I bought the book knowing that I was going to read it over and over again, but that never happened.  The words written are completely lost to me.

vader

I love to read and when this book was announced, I ordered it on the spot knowing it would be months before Amazon delivered my package.  Even when I could go up and get an electronic version of the book early, I passed because it was supposed to be a shared experience.

Life changed and I didn’t think about cancelling the order.  It wasn’t even in the top hundred things on my mind.  By the time it showed up in my mailbox, I had forgotten.

I placed it on a shelf and didn’t say anything to the ex about it having arrived.  The spine was turned around and set high enough to not be in any other person’s view.  Some things you can ignore, even try to hide, but you know they are there.

This odd gift of genetics has allowed me to remember just about every page I have ever read.  Text books from college, some article in the newspaper, a short story a friend wrote about her discomfort with a work colleague that was absolutely hilarious and even contained artwork.  They are trapped inside my head.

I tried to re-read Stephen King’s IT, but I knew the details of the next page while reading the current one.  And I really like that story.  For me, I’m grateful to be able to read people’s blogs because I see something new and while some themes are familiar, their presentation is not.

Of all the things I miss about being a parent (although I’m always going to be one) is the desire to sit on a couch a read books together.  Even if those pages were shown on a screen, swiping to the left every so often; that shared time means the world to me.  There was going to be a time when the situation would have turned, years in the future, her reading to me because I couldn’t find my glasses!

The most important thing a parent can share is their time.  Nothing else matters in the end.  Even if that time is short, maybe only reading 40 pages of a children’s book while laughing at the pictures…

Maybe I should re-phrase that part, the most important thing any person can share with another is their time.

Advertisements

One thought on “Unbroken Spine

  1. This is a part of your loss that I hadn’t thought about. I have four children, and many times all of them clustered around on the sofa as I read aloud to them, even after the older ones were fully capable of reading for themselves. You are right. It is a precious time. And I am more than sorry that you lost it.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s