Who’s Making the Rules

That constant struggle between head and heart, wondering who is going to win today, tomorrow, or even recalling how yesterday went.  The future always influenced by the past and the past driving how this classic fight will continue.

When the heart rules the mind, one look and love is blind.  If you want the dream to last, take a chance forget the past.

I’m not the best person to talk about how a mystical line, a simple crease in my palm, influences my choices.  Thinking that since my birth the possibilities that exist in life were sitting front and center waiting for me to look down, I can’t accept that.  Plus when I look down at my right palm that line isn’t all that long and obsessing about that would just drive me crazier than I already am!

The notion of romance, my heart leading me around a room following some lady like a puppy until I learned her name sounds like fun.  Not in a stalking manner, nothing creepy, but there are times when just the smile on a face makes you want to see it longer.  Find out what is behind that glow.  The heart leading you to make sometimes stupid decisions for the right reasons, even when they end badly.

My brain sometimes wants to take complete control and remind me that with each new person I might bring into my life, it could end.  And my brain wins most of the time because I can’t forget my own personal history.  Even when my heart is screaming for a new friend, my brain says slow down and rethink my actions.

Love is about loss.  Love is about fear.  But love is also about that feeling you get when your heart stops and tries for a brief second to capture a lifetime.  Your brain knows what is going on and those chemicals coursing through your body, it wants more.  But it also puts up walls that divert that warm flow.

My heart doesn’t always make good decisions.  But neither does my brain.  If the “Djinn” had sat me down and run his/her hands across my palm and told me something I didn’t want to know, I might have obsessed over those details.  My own personal history colors plenty of my future choices.  That is the same for everyone.  I just wish I didn’t recall it in such vivid detail!

That conflict of heart and mind has driven literature for centuries.  My favorite book, the one I love more than any other, is “The Count of Monte  Cristo”.  The obvious theme of revenge is the first that comes to mind for anyone who had read or even seen a movie version.  But to me the story is about redemption, even if it comes at the cost of compromised principles.

Edmund spends so much time trying to get back the life he feels he lost, but along the way he learns to trust again.  People see in him a good man and they give him the tools to recapture his vision of the past.

Edmund spends almost as much time fighting his better nature, his inner demons as he does fighting the people he is seeking his vengeance upon.  The heart ruling the mind.

The future is open to whatever we chose it to be.  In my personal experience I have to give the cancer some credit for the choices I am sometimes forced to make.  But I also know that I want my heart to make those chooses even when my brain is screaming at me to go in another direction.

My heart and mind agree on several things, sometimes the wrong things to worry about.  But welcome to depression.  The brain trying to rule everything even when it doesn’t feel good.

Some clarity on the horizon would be welcome.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/life-line/”>Life Line</a>


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