“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.” — Sylvia Plath
If someone had shown me this quote a year ago, I would have said I wanted for nothing. I had everything – a baby on the way, a woman in my life that I loved more than anything, and while there were some external issues that could have gone better; I had found all that I wanted. There was nothing else I needed, maybe the winning Lottery numbers which could have cleared up the money issue, but all in all I was content.
After all of that changed, losing the baby, losing Whitney, losing myself; I’m now finding that I want nothing. And that isn’t a good thing. Dreams are something we strive for, some are attainable, others such fantasy that we know they are unattainable. I no longer dream, my brain knowing it is a waste of time. Not even some flashes of Dragons swooping down on me while walking the dog? The mind knows how to protect me better at night than during the day!
I want everything for Whitney, success and health, joy and comfort.
For those around me, happiness.
For those I don’t know, peace and safety in a world where those are hard to find!
For myself, just getting through the day. [maybe a hug?]