It seemed like such a simple thing to do. Send a card to someone recognizing that they had done a good job. That they should feel pride in the way they have done their job. Letting them know that people appreciate all of the hard work they do. Under most circumstances anyone can do this, but when you are sending it to your ex; it gets so much more complicated.
Standing in the aisle of the store, wondering if this is generic enough so that it doesn’t make anyone feel uncomfortable. Looking for just the right words, so that you don’t have to add any of your own. Personalizing this only leads to more conflict with that simple gesture you are attempting. I selected something I might have presented to a person in my own office. Straightforward, congratulations on sticking out 7 years! I meekly signed, “You should be proud of yourself, Lary”. Nothing to be misconstrued.
How do you label it. My handwriting is sort of distinctive, and Whitney would have noticed it across the room without having opened the envelope. So the one questionable detail is solved by printing off a label with her office address on it. A stamp later and into the mailbox it goes. It was before a holiday, so the mail was going to get there on November 13th or 14th, but that was okay. Even though I put it in the mail November 9th! November 11th was the anniversary, maybe she had something nice done for her at work?
November 14th is when I was admitted into the hospital and remained there for days. Thankfully I slept most of the time, so I didn’t need to wonder if it ended up in the garbage before she opened it or immediately afterwards. Did she smile for even a second? Who knows?
Was it the right thing to do? For her yes, even though we don’t speak it is important that she knew she works hard and should feel good about all she has accomplished. For me, it just leaves questions about the entire endeavor.