My Dream Daughter

Never Too Late

For a time last year there was nothing that could remove me from the bubble of joy I was surrounded by.  Waiting for the birth of my daughter was some of the best times in my life.  The hope I hadn’t felt for a couple of months had been completely pushed aside the day I found out about her.  I finally had a purpose aside from dragging myself to the office every day.  Thinking about names, joking because we had taken to calling her “The Bug” so that it wasn’t always baby this, or baby that.  A friend told me that she didn’t know what had changed, but she thought I was walking on clouds weeks before we told anyone.  That my mood about the weights I was carrying had shifted, something in me had changed; it was my little girl.  Throughout all of the arguments about family, worries about how we were going to do this, all of those things got pushed aside after they happened because I was driven to do everything possible to let her know I loved her.

I may have lost my daughter as she entered this world, but for those months she was everything I could have hoped for.  And today when I sit down and eat too much food, surrounded by my parents; a picture of her will be in my pocket.  There are going to be plenty of tears shed by me today.  I’m prepared for that.

Thank you my precious, little Bug!  And even though your mom won’t know it, Thanks Whitney for giving me those memories!  I hope you are safe, wherever it is you may be…

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