My grandfather used to tell my brother and I this dream he had, one of us would go to the moon and the other would bring him back. Now I was 7 or 8 at the time, so I only understood the going to outer space part of his story. But what he was trying to tell us was that we could achieve great heights by working together towards something spectacular. There might have been a little bit of looking out for each other he was trying to get across, but mostly I believe he wanted us to reach higher than our own perceived limitations and boundaries.
I always have believed that when you surrender to the limitations placed on you by someone else, you lose a little bit of who you are. Maybe a little of what you were meant to be. Resolving to push outward get you into John Locke territory and pursuing happiness. “The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do”. Being part of something means that you work hard to make that happen. You don’t want to actively hurt anyone, but you set your mind to the goal you are hoping for and do whatever you can to make it happen.
Sometimes family can be the biggest supporter and at other times the heaviest anchor. There are plenty of times in life when you do things that are outside the expectations of family, stay out too late, pick the wrong major in college [even though it’s the right one for you], or maybe you just disagree with something they believe. Sometimes they might not support the idea, may even call you out on it, but they should support you in your own pursuit of happiness.
I’ve learned that sometimes family can be the impediment to happiness. They want something done and there is no way you feel you can do otherwise. You become trapped between two worlds that don’t seem to have much commonality. You become scared, and hurt, confused by who is right. The only problem is that the only person who is right in these situations is you. The person who feels those emotions.
In my life I have loved someone greatly, completely, and to the best of my ability. Even though we hadn’t gotten married, I tried to live up to the vows you hear – Through sickness and health, through the good and the bad. Two people who stand by each other when the darkest days happen, knowing that the other person is the light you see at the end of the tunnel. Knowing that just having them around makes things easier, even when you are in such pain you can’t see that.
Insatiable is my desire for you,
Insane is my love for you,
Limitless are my boundaries for you,
True are my feelings for you,
Wildest are my imaginations for you,
Intense is my passion for you,
Soul is my offering for you,
Commitment is my promise to you
The third line of this is important, limitless boundaries. Seeing the world being an option for someone and doing everything you can to help them realize their potential. Encouraging the exploration of every option and trying to find a way to make them work. It can’t be everything at one time, but it can be anything at a given time! I wish this woman I love dearly knew that she can be anything, is talented, smart, funny, good with people. And I know that she could do great things if only she let herself believe that. Truly understand that she can do anything she tries. And I know she wants to try a great many things, I wish I could have offered her more opportunity. Support was what I had to give. Time to help her find her place in a world she created.
I wanted her to have it all.